Nepal (reprise)

sunsest from the peace pagoda

Nepal in it's entirety blindsided me in slow motion.  Finding myself again in Kathmandu I had almost chalked up the last few months as coming full circle, hanging off the same concrete terrace where I originally threw a tantrum (well, an hour long whinge married with severe pouting) about my perceived shackles of constraint following the expiration of my first Indian visa. However, this time around I had the wealth of my Nepalese experience under my belt in addition to the immense pleasure of crossing paths with friends old and new.

An oar in hand, motorbike rides to the ends of the earth, vertical extensions, fresh faces sparkling with the vigour of freedom, and an all too comfortable feeling of ease defined the weeks beyond my 10 days of self imposed silence.  My comparatively lazy days in the town of Pokhara came to a striking end in the warm company of the reluctant sages of Phewa Lake's mountains.  As the flames of their bonfire licked the soles of my well worn shoes I found myself under the wing of a heavily bearded South American cum wild Nepali.  While his European partner boisterously owned an acoustic rendition of "La Javanaise", I found myself receiving instruction and advice of the highest order in a conversation that only required a nod and grateful acceptance of a talisman formed from the heart of Pokhara.  Magic easily accessed in the understated beauty of nature's finest.

Enter Londonites, S&K, the familiar faces from a lifetime shelved half a year ago.  Several times we remarked how surreal it was that we were sharing our time in the company of dal bhat and prayer flags.  We spent our first night together in the anti-climactic setting of the Pokhara street festival and ushered in the new year as well as S's birthday in Kathmandu (there was no countdown, but a count up and the ball dropped at the count of 12. 12???)

My last meeting with S took place the weekend prior to my departure amidst the human traffic of Embankment in the revered gardens of Gordan's Wine Bar.  However, instead of engaging in social commentary over fine wine, I was now squealing over the "free" toilet paper in the bathroom and an opportunity to crash in one of the most luxurious hotel room floors since the start of my travels (think poor man's Holiday Inn).  In the midst of those who vacation, I was struck by how feral I felt in comparison; my daily budget and financial mindset now firmly formed of rupees as opposed to the pound or dollar.  On that note, I even had a friend make the generous offer to spot me an extra £20 a week upon learning that I shared a room with another traveller to save myself an extra 250 rupees (the equivalent of 3 dollars) a day.  Although I will never look a gift horse in the mouth, I had to graciously decline.  It's not that I cannot afford the cost, but those 3 bucks go a long way... although having said that, I don't think I have ever been so ornery about another person's bodily outcries.  Lesson learned.

a session conducted in a derelict school

Following S & K's departure, I happened upon a group of individuals who very quickly welcomed me into their sphere.  Headed by a Lama, this was a group of reiki practioners who were offering a holistic service to the locals living mountainside, an hour outside of Kathmandu.  I was invited to accompany them and observe their practice over a week.  The purpose of this "camp" was to raise money on a donation basis for what they hope to establish as Nepal's first healing hospital.  The costs required to build the hospital are estimated to be approximately $12,000 which in Western terms is a small sum to pay when dealing with real estate.  However, where the rupee is concerned, not a dent will be made if merely counting on the donations of the even the more affluent Nepali residents.  The contributions of foreigners are somewhat advantageous (if not necessary) in this instance, but my experience is that there is always tension when applying a cost to what I view as a service born from altruism.  Whatever ones thoughts are on Reiki, I will only say at this time that the outcomes spoke for themselves.  The satisfaction of the recipients varied in demonstration from a glowing smile to a man breaking out in dance and fist pumping the sky.  Several spoke of their now absent symptoms and pains following their treatment. The time spent here passed swiftly and my final days found me playing the role of the pied piper as the number of children surrounding me multiplied and filled me with a healthy level of exhaustion (I can't remember the last time I played tag).  When parting ways, I was sent off with a slew of embraces and promises to cross paths again at points unknown.  The perfect ending to my first visit to Nepal.

Rosen and Bibek (top left) were the leaders of the pack and brilliant company

on the way up

On the heels of my first visit to India, it took me a little minute to fully appreciate Nepal in it's own right. Initially, Nepal presents many images that mirror those of India.  The corner shop crowded by cheap sweets and single cigarettes, the widespread poverty, roadsides littered with an assortment of rubbish (from candy wrappers to "waste"), and the strong smells of burning plastic.  But at heart, Nepal is nothing like India.  The scenery is breathtaking, the weather generally milder, and interactions with people of sincerity are much more accessible. Nepal doesn't suffer from the same degree of pollution or burdens of over population and there is a sense that life is experienced at a slower and more relaxed pace.  I can understand why people coming from Delhi liken Kathmandu as an oasis.  I do not take for granted how fortunate I have been to have encountered gems of individuals in India who have contributed in forming a more positive experience for me.  Despite taking much delight in this moment, I am excited to return to "mother India", her arms ready with the paradox of beauty and chaos.  My newly issued visa in hand, I start my journey tonight to  Lumbini, the birthplace of Buddha, and will hopefully be crossing the border towards Varanasi in mere days. Triumph.

equanimous equaimous

10 days of being submerged in deafening introspection within the confines of absolute silence.  Where to begin…it is extremely difficult to find a voice to describe an event such as this.  I can only note that there is a distinct impression of change, a crater left by the impact, but with no strong accompanying emotions.

The recently completed Vipassana course was set in the hills of Pokhara with grand mountain views whose command was only disturbed by the territorial disputes of monkeys and some of the worst DJs (Celine Dion, Akon???) this side of the world.  The requirements for the past week and a half included the abstinence in any forms of communication or external stimulation in order to fully reap the benefits of the exploration of mind and body. 

First, there is still no need to use the “safe word” in regards to a possible detachment from the reality I left behind.   There was no dissolution of the body, no blinding lights, no conversations with Jesus, Buddha, or John Lennon.  I did however gain a much deeper insight into my thought processes, my desires and aversions, and what I would like to believe is an overall sense of a deeper mental awareness.  

The first couple days were more strenuous than I ever imagined.  The daily 4 AM start did nothing to alleviate the burdens of consciousness (nor the fact that our last proper meal was at 11 AM).  Sitting uncomfortably for long periods at a time, meditation with the focus on breath and bodily sensation accounted for over 10 hours of the day. Quite the demanding practice for one who has never previously meditated in a serious way (unless you count marinating in the scent of nag champa with the likes of Mr. Ravi Shankar).  The outstanding feature in the early days was the overpowering loudness of the mind especially in the absence of outside distractions.

The strict vow of “noble silence” was upheld with the exception of an outburst of hysterical laughter on Day 7 when the entirety of my thoughts and memories appeared absurdly comical.  I figure if I ever plunge into the depths of insanity it will likely resemble that moment.  Otherwise, it was actually refreshing to keep to myself.  

The course was profoundly intense, but recommended.  The meditation and even the discourse behind it may not be to everyone’s level of comfort or acceptance, but it undeniably holds a mirror up to oneself.  It remains with the individual as to the commitment, fortitude, and honest internal dialogue in regards to the possible benefits of such an undertaking.  Personally, it is an area that will inevitably continue to entice me at least in regards to insight in in the realms of consciousness. However, there is also a deep sense of relief in the much missed belly laugh and the company of James Brown. 

our assistant teacher with the ladies.

Sitamai

“Early to bed and early to rise is Bergen’s idea of exercise.”

Any attempts to maintain notions of passing time were thwarted by a comparable life of leisure on Sitamai’s Ecofarm.  Depending on the host family, one was either becoming adept at working the rice fields or endeavouring to transcend space and time in the bamboo tree house. I was clearly engaging in the latter, but still managed to clock in a couple hours a day sinking my hands into buffalo shite and setting the stage for the makings of future dal bhats (a Nepalese meal of rice and lentils served twice a day…everyday). 

The three weeks spent in this small village in Chitwan added to a more immersive learning experience and our host and founder of the project, Padum, was full of wisdom about organic farming and the surrounding wildlife.  Although several of his fantastic stories were entertained with a pinch of salt (choking a leopard with an umbrella, jumping onto a rhino from a tree), Padum would deliver on his promises to afford the volunteers narratives of their own.  It’s not every day one gets to hug a baby rhino.  Yeah, hug.  

Sitamai was Narayan brought to life with tropical flora splashed against a backdrop of fields and lush forests wrapped in the warmth of fine company.  Banjo strings, sassy Amas, rocks of rhinos, papaya leaves, dirty fingernails, and the baby next door who peed on my leg comprised some of the more unforgettable moments.  Although my desire for alternative cuisine grew exponentially, I did enjoy the sense of a daily routine in such a tranquil yet often spontaneous environment. 

Now in stunning Pokhara and once again using silverware, a 10 day retreat awaits me.  The requirements are simple: no speaking, writing, reading, listening to music, or making eye contact.  I imagine myself climbing up the walls by day three (at best) as my favourite pastimes now fall into a category of vices.  However, it is a challenge and it is free.  Admittedly I am motivated by both spiritual curiosity and financial interest.  A handful of friends have already completed the session with mixed reviews so the hope is that I either achieve Nirvana or get thrown out in the most glorious manner.  We’ll soon see.

Fitter Happier

It's a fantastic struggle to capture the words that give justice to the depth of connection and sensory indulgence that took place in Jaipur and Delhi.  

My first days were spent with my friend Gaury and her family in East Delhi.  Although we were perfect strangers when I landed in this pulsating monstrosity, I departed feeling like a newly adopted puppy.  Gaury's mother insisted that my mouth be occupied by constantly chewing (I lost weight after I left their house) and her father was a humorous man who clearly doted on his family and thus was slightly concerned by my marital status ("after you get married next year, you'll come back?"), but all was presented to me with such warmth that I could only respond with the same.

I had been bracing myself for the product of over population and poverty, and whilst these elements were unavoidably present, it certainly did not detract from the overall experience that is Delhi.  Houses adorned with garishly brilliant strings of lights, the city danced and exploded during the balmy evenings leading up to Diwali.  The doorways were carefully decorated with a combination of marigold petals and oil lamps.  To accompany the brilliance of glamour and color, Gaury and I adorned ourselves in decadent garments before participating in the ritual puja to ask for blessings of fortune and wealth.

Days later I was trying to navigate the chaotic maze of the Delhi bus station.  Instead of signs and helpful employees, I found myself attempting to locate my bus to Jaipur by following the sporadic shouts of the drivers in between the heckling of men selling cakes and other sweets for the journey. This was at least of more assistance than the men who chose to ignore me point blank while I (politely) tried to get my bearings straight.

The 6 hour ride through Rajasthan was breath-taking.  Rich garments, camels, and rolling hills filled the scenery in between busy towns that one could pray have seen better days.  On arrival to Jaipur I had to do my best to wear an expression that looked both disinterested and knowing as a hoard of rickshaw drivers tried to persuade me of their sincerity and their services.  Moments later I find myself fortuitously in genuine company who want nothing but to make my introduction to Jaipur one that I will never forget.  The days were spent riding on  motorbikes through a whirlwind of the city blare and the rich outskirts.  Monkeys took snacks from my fingers and I left on a cloud of bliss that could only be enjoyed in newly acquired serenity.  On my return to India, revisiting Jaipur is on the top of my agenda.















I currently find myself in Kathmandu, Nepal.  The main reason of this new residency is to apply for a new Indian visa which I am able to submit after 30 days.  In the meantime I aim to take on a couple volunteering tasks at an orphanage and then a eco-farm a couple weeks later.  However, like everything about this visit, all is fluid, so I am not closed whatever else decides to crop up during this time.  Unfortunately, with this mornings eggs being the number one suspect, too much has been cropping up for me today.  Hopefully I will be able to further indulge in this city's offerings by sunset.

You've got to follow your balloon

The stars of SECMOL

cheek mountain

My darling Tsomo with a sideshow

The Ladakhi Paul Weller

SECMOL

Mere days will draw the curtain on the two months I’ve spent here.  Whilst I eagerly anticipate the events to come, I can’t help but feel more than melancholy about my departure.

I will almost certainly pine for the serenity and magnitude of my current milieu although not nearly as profoundly as my daily exchanges with the students.  

SECMOL is something of a mixed bag, but no matter what frustrations I’ve encountered, they were and will always be trumped by the interactions and relationships with the students.  At the end of the day, SECMOL offers much to the students especially in the way of developing self-confidence and social interaction.  Many of the students have described this year as “luxury” and they have yet to utter a disparaging word about the program.

SECMOL is non-government course of education which is mainly offered to students who are taking a year off from their regular studies.  A majority of these students have failed their exams and are attending the program in the hopes of strengthening their knowledge, skills and English in order the pass the exams to progress to the next successive class.  There are no reported numbers in regards to how many of the SECMOL class end up advancing to the next year although the national statistics note that only 25% of children pass their exams. It isoutrageous that the exams are conducted in English when the teachers give their lessons in (depending on the region) Urdu, Hindi, or Ladakhi.  This alone appears set the stage for failure. There is no doubt that this is a wider failing of the educational system in India.

SECMOL attempts to fill in these gaps and the effort and intention is a worthy one.  There is no doubt that it is a program that is of benefit to those who undertake it.  However, there are elements of the organization that were initially quite exasperating especially as I entered this experience blindly.

Perhaps coming from a Western country, I hold expectations or ideals that just aren’t supported amidst this institutional nightmare.  I refer to a broader system outside of SECMOL where teachers are allowed (and at most times expected) to utilize corporal punishment with the students should they make a mistake (heaven forbid).  As a result, students have become adept at memorization without cognition.  However, if the objective for staff and volunteers is to prepare the students for their exams then certainly it would be helpful to know what it is they are meant to understand, what they have already been taught, etc.  

I was taken aback in regards to areas that lacked structure combined with having the responsibilities of several classes shifted onto volunteers.  This wouldn’t be problematic if there were a syllabus or curriculum to follow or if long term volunteers were running classes throughout the year.  However, there are no records of previous lessons nor could anyone provide me with an indication of what level or subject matter to address in a concrete manner.  All in all, little guidance and no monitoring were provided in this respect.  Again, I tried to go with the flow, and feel I managed pretty well considering my expectations, but SECMOL was not aware of what I was teaching or how I was teaching it.  For all they knew, I could have been wildly inappropriate and incompetent (I wasn’t).

My main point is that some tightening up and organization could possibly produce more positive learning outcomes.  I detest unnecessary bureaucracy especially as I was knee deep in that nonsense in my previous work environment, but something as simple as learning objectives for the school yearor an outline of what topics need to be addressed and what has already been covered wouldn’t go missed. On that note, I have mentioned all of the above to the staff here.  It has generally been met with nods of agreement but in a way that a parent might absently agree with their young child who tellsh im or her that it’s better for the environment to buy only recycled products.  Putting something into practice is a whole ‘notha show.

In any case, SECMOL was an edifying introduction to India and my English teaching experience.  I have been informed that many other schools months will generally offer similar practices so I’ll have to make the most of it.  As stated, my feelings about the structure will always be secondary to those of my overall experience and my memories of the students here.

I’ve had a moan and grumble about rats in the night, lack of a nutritious diet, and a permanent staff member who appears to work hard at avoiding work, but I would do it all over again if I could.  Perhaps now that it is the end of the road and I have a good bill of health, I feel that I could spend more time here but 2 months was a psychologically and physically manageable period.   However, I was almost convinced that M, who volunteered here for half a year, was going to set fire to Ladakh before she exited.  It can be a bittersweet experience so one needs to assess their limits and expectations, but unless you don’t have a heart; it will certainly be broken upon departure.

she's so hot she's making me sexist

It’s my second to last visit with the dentist in Leh and I am basking in auditory bliss.  On my way into town, a man who I gave directions to not 30 minutes earlier picks me up in his plush Honda. "Hotel Califorinia" is followed by "The Tracks of My Tears" (God bless you Mr. Robinson) and it's the first time that I’ve heard Western music in a vehicle here, a welcome change from the Ladakhi music which I lack the patience to describe.  

 “You’re very beautiful”

Great.  I politely smile and calculate how many kilometers we have have left.  Silence between us is golden.  Rappers Delight teases my aptitude for nostalgia and after further broken dialogue about Ladakh and my role in SECMOL, he awkwardly makes a play to hold my hand.  When this fails he inquires if I have a boyfriend.  The answer to this question is always affirmative and if there is any further probing I plan on dispensing that he is insanely jealous, weighing in at 300 pounds of pure muscle.  I make an annoyed exit but am aware that I’ve left the situation unscathed.

I grab a bus on the way back to campus.  A middle aged man stands up and insists that I take a seat.  How very generous.  The thought immediately dissolves with the realization that the cost of this act is having his groin pressed against my shoulder.  Before I am able to attach any innocence to this he makes a feeble attempt to stroke my back.  I start applauding myself for tactfully manoeuvring myself at the edge of my seat when the woman next to me vacates her spot leaving the space open for this "gentleman" to sit next to me.  He places his bony fingers on my leg and asks if I am going to Spituk, where I am to change buses.  With this, I twist his arm behind his back and swiftly kick him out of the open door as we pick up speed.  The other passengers erupt in song and cheer on the demise of yet another chauvinist bastard.  Actually, what happens is that he swiftly departs before I can blink, and moments later I also make my way of the bus in search of a pool of holy water.

Feeling wholly violated, I start entertaining the idea of walking the remaining distance to campus, and were the sun still shining in it's full glory, I may have given this more consideration.  It's not long after I start walking that a soldier on the side of the road attempts to make conversation with me. Where are you going, where are you from, etc and relatively harmless.  Of course this is then followed by an all too hormonal, 

"There's a cafe at the military base down there. Can you see it?  I will take good care of you. Do you have a boyfriend?  Do you have a husband?"

It takes little time for my imaginary boyfriend to be upgraded to an imaginary husband.  After further beverage insistence and declination he leaves me in front of an army post telling me that he will be back in 10 minutes and that the army will protect me. Fantastic, but whose protecting me from the army?

The second he turns his back I pick up my pace down the road.  A car stops and inside are two men who are going to the bridge where I often make the serene 5.5k walk back to campus.  The driver has a kind face and tells me that he can drop me off closer to the campus as he and his companion are on the way to the monastery next to SECMOL. Sigh of relief follows as I enter this leg of my journey free of harassment.

 I’ve always remarked that Ladakh would cradle me into my India experience.  Various resources cite Leh as being “little Tibet” and the culture here certainly appears to be more representative of a Tibetan environment as opposed to an Indian one. So, I’ve taken baby steps into this country, bracing myself for the beauty and chaos to come in the next couple of months.  However aside from institutional disorganization, pungent odours, and alleyways lined with waste, I'm told that there will be more of this behavior in "real India".  Jodi and Emiko tell me that they have never been groped more anywhere else in their lives, and Western women are automatically viewed as whores.  It doesn't matter that my body is clothed from head to toe, the color of my skin indicates, in already sexist surroundings, that I deserve the treatment that I get.  Of course this is not the prevailing attitude but one held by those living in ignorance, and when you have a country with 1 billion plus, there is bound to be several who spoil the reputation of a place.  A staff member tells me that I had a bad day and that this generally doesn't happen in Ladakh.  I am inclined to take this at face value given that it was my first experience in the two months that I've spent here; however, I know that India (especially Delhi) will be a different kettle of fish. I anticipate many a scoundrel to fly out of moving buses, but we'll see.

with Jodi and Medea- dressed like complete hookers