equanimous equaimous

10 days of being submerged in deafening introspection within the confines of absolute silence.  Where to begin…it is extremely difficult to find a voice to describe an event such as this.  I can only note that there is a distinct impression of change, a crater left by the impact, but with no strong accompanying emotions.

The recently completed Vipassana course was set in the hills of Pokhara with grand mountain views whose command was only disturbed by the territorial disputes of monkeys and some of the worst DJs (Celine Dion, Akon???) this side of the world.  The requirements for the past week and a half included the abstinence in any forms of communication or external stimulation in order to fully reap the benefits of the exploration of mind and body. 

First, there is still no need to use the “safe word” in regards to a possible detachment from the reality I left behind.   There was no dissolution of the body, no blinding lights, no conversations with Jesus, Buddha, or John Lennon.  I did however gain a much deeper insight into my thought processes, my desires and aversions, and what I would like to believe is an overall sense of a deeper mental awareness.  

The first couple days were more strenuous than I ever imagined.  The daily 4 AM start did nothing to alleviate the burdens of consciousness (nor the fact that our last proper meal was at 11 AM).  Sitting uncomfortably for long periods at a time, meditation with the focus on breath and bodily sensation accounted for over 10 hours of the day. Quite the demanding practice for one who has never previously meditated in a serious way (unless you count marinating in the scent of nag champa with the likes of Mr. Ravi Shankar).  The outstanding feature in the early days was the overpowering loudness of the mind especially in the absence of outside distractions.

The strict vow of “noble silence” was upheld with the exception of an outburst of hysterical laughter on Day 7 when the entirety of my thoughts and memories appeared absurdly comical.  I figure if I ever plunge into the depths of insanity it will likely resemble that moment.  Otherwise, it was actually refreshing to keep to myself.  

The course was profoundly intense, but recommended.  The meditation and even the discourse behind it may not be to everyone’s level of comfort or acceptance, but it undeniably holds a mirror up to oneself.  It remains with the individual as to the commitment, fortitude, and honest internal dialogue in regards to the possible benefits of such an undertaking.  Personally, it is an area that will inevitably continue to entice me at least in regards to insight in in the realms of consciousness. However, there is also a deep sense of relief in the much missed belly laugh and the company of James Brown. 

our assistant teacher with the ladies.